four - place the moon at my eyes

[kingsroads]

[ the post goes up late Thursday, into the evening hours. and MAN is Strange so thankful for this magical journal system. He really doesn't want to have to write this multiple times. ]

One of our new visitors is an enchanter of some sort. He has cursed me and trapped Sabriel.

Francis, McGonagall, I shall need your help. I cannot save Sabriel alone. Likewise, I will need to help of any new magicians who might have arrived with the visitors. As I cannot tell the new magicians this myself, I am relying on the rest of the ship's crew to pass on this message as I cannot myself. Please meet me at my room—the proper one, not my cursed apartment.

Persson, Sheehan, I have a question of you. How can one dream up an item they had back home? Does it work the same as the communal dream of Goodsir and Jopson's rooms or can I do this by myself? I know the item's properties perfectly as I created it myself, I simply need it here. Do not come to me in person, simply respond with your journal.

As for the rest of the ship, I need a mirror and something dead—flowers, perhaps? Please leave them outside my door if you have them. There is a spell I can still cast, a spell to see what my enemy is doing. I do not know who my enemy is but the enchanter hurt Sabriel. Undoubtedly he is my enemy and undoubtedly he is on this ship.

Stay safe.

Comments

[endofvanity]

Fitzjames sees Strange limping and tries to support him—get an arm around him, one of Strange's arms over his own shoulders—and he watches in perplexity as he scribbles the message. When he reads it, his blood runs colder than Arctic ice.

How does he know?

He stares at Strange, trying to formulate an answer, searching his friend's face for clues. What does he need to hear?

"My father—" he begins, then stops. Is that it?

[kingsroads]

For the first time, Strange is grateful for the curse. There is no way he could explain it in a way that Fitzjames could understand. It might be his father. It might not be. It might be Fitzjames or Crozier or Franklin—how odd, why would he think of a man he's never met. It matters and yet it doesn't. He needs the answer but he feels like he he can go along without it.

He wants to tell Fitzjames all that but if he opens his mouth then he will vomit up rotten tomatoes and the little metallic thing will sink further down his throat. So instead, Strange reaches over and attempts to tenderly lay a hand on Fitzjames's cheek as he gives the captain a gentle smile, hoping the gesture will substitute for the things he cannot say.

That is it but it isn't it but it is it. A Fitzjames that's not Fitzjames but is Fitzjames. He has no way to explain it, his mind is too full of the sky, so he offers what he can: comfort. Besides, the flowers are wilting. He is supposed to protect all the crew, and that includes this man here.

[endofvanity]

Fitzjames understands, and he doesn't. Even though he's not had a draught of madness, something about whatever it is that has hold of Strange feels like it's tugging at his own mind; he can't explain why he decides to say what he does for any other reason.

"James Fitzjames is a bad pun," he says. "Fitzjames, son of James—James Gambier, diplomat and failure, and an unknown Portuguese woman from Brazil. James Fitzjames is not even fully English." He swallows. "James Fitzjames is an imposter. He lied about his age and obscured his history so that he could gain a position as midshipman and build an officer's career. He paid off a man who was blackmailing Sir John Barrow's son and saved the Barrow family name, and the Admiralty would have given him any command he wished."

He can feel dampness on his cheeks.

"Francis Crozier calls me brother and still I don't feel I deserve it. I am a dead man, but I walk and talk again and my heart beats and I love."

He passes his hand over his face.

"And that is why James Fitzjames is not James Fitzjames."

[kingsroads]

James Fitzjames is a bad pun. It's why even now gin makes me ill. He paid off a man who was blackmailing Sir John Barrow's son and saved the Barrow family name, and the Admiralty would have given him any command he wished. Do you judge me harshly? For what I've done? For what I had to do? He is in his room, listening to a man's life, and he doesn't know if this has happened, is happening, or will happen.

Ah. He understands it now. They are not brothers, they are a coin. There is Crozier, in profile, looking out at the unknown. And there is Fitzjames, with Britannia's shield, trident in hand. And there is Strange, coin in hand, flipping it in the air, calling it before it lands. He feels the weight in his pocket. And so, Strange does what he did for the other half of the coin. He reaches up to Fitzjames's face and, while giving him a sympathetic smile, starts to wipe the tears away with his thumb

As he looks up at Fitzjames, Strange sees the various faces of him start to crack. There is a candle back there. Good. Perhaps that is what he needed to see. He certainly feels more sturdy having seen it.

[endofvanity]

Fitzjames finds himself leaning toward the touch without thinking about it. He crumples the paper with Strange's question in his hand and reaches up to put his hand back on Strange's shoulder again.

"Mr. Strange ..." he says. "Jonathan. Where are you?"

[kingsroads]

Strange brightens with pleasure at the use of his first name. He says a few words, voice still completely missing thanks to the spell, but the shape of his mouth moving shows them plain and clear. Thank you, James. Strange steps back, this time with steady feet and no trace of a limp, as he gestures to the room around him. He is here. Where else would he be?

His eyes linger on Sabriel's portrait for a moment. I am sorry for the delay, he thinks, but I needed a steady hand. And now we both know this man is more broken than either of us realized. Do not worry. I shall return you to me soon.

Strange returns to Fitzjames and, with a small smile, gestures for him to leave the room.

[endofvanity]

Fitzjames doesn't want to leave. He opens the door, and before he steps outside, says, "I am here. Call—" no. "Strike the door if you need me."

[kingsroads]

Strange gives Fitzjames a reassuring and grateful smile before he nods. He then turns back to his room and the mess of papers on the floor. He needs to finish this.