two - on books and the nature of creation

[kingsroads]

I realize that some might have questions about the nature of England I inadvertently sent us to. I shall happily answer any questions one might have about my world, it's magic, my magic or anything of the sort.

But before that, I have much more interesting news. I was going to the Captain's library to try and find a book on the mechanics of ships (Capt. Crozier and Messers. Jopson and Goodsir, please give me recommendations if you have them) when I found new books in the library! Most of them seem to be after my time and a few seem quite salacious but two of them are quite familiar to me. One is a children's book from my England and the other is a book on magic I wrote myself!

The appearance of my book is notable as all copies aside from one were destroyed in my world (and I doubt this is that one copy). If we all agree with Ms. Persson's theory that this is a dream, then perhaps our unconscious mind created the books, rooms, fruit, et cetera. Which leads me to wonder: what marvels could be made if we turned our conscious minds to creation?

J.S.

Comments

[goingtobeunwell]

Crozier pushes open the door to his berth, then the door to the great cabin. He quickly pulls Strange inside, holding him firmly by the shoulders, his own hands shaking but needing to know that this was real and not the dream.

Strange is solid, and he cannot feel the inward distress and horror from him. Nothing pushes into him, nothing's shared between them.

He exhales and steps back from him, convinced that he's awake.

Whiskey. A glass of whiskey used to calm the tremors from his time in Antarctica. Whiskey might...whiskey used to...

He groans and sits at his table tiredly.

[kingsroads]

Strange's hands are jammed firmly in his pockets. He can't let Crozier see just how rattled he is. Strange is supposed to be the one who's in control, who has experience in these sorts of matters. But he can't hide the paleness in his face or the slight hesitancy of his voice.

"Honestly, you were doing quite well before that last vignette. You were able to change the dream to focus on a person of your choosing. With more practice, changing the dream will become easier."

[goingtobeunwell]

As tempted as he is to just lay his head down on the table, Crozier stays upright and tries to meet Strange's eyes. His mind won't let him focus on anything but the sight of the Tuunbaq emerging from the ice.

"It wants something from us."

He leans forward, placing his own unsteady hands on the table.

"I've never seen the creature before tonight," he admits. "It was trying to speak. To converse in some manner. I could feel it. I...it wants. It's wanting. It's craving something that we have."

[kingsroads]

This feels like a puzzle that they're missing a few pieces to. If he's never seen that thing before tonight, then in Strange's mind it makes sense that the cause for the creature's arrival was the new variable: himself.

Without thinking, Strange moves his still trembling hand to rub at his neck, touching places where he know should be scarred.

"What does it do with the kills? Our...our fiend on the ice. I know it makes a mockery of the bodies, but is there one part consistently missing? A heart or eyes or something of that sort."

[goingtobeunwell]

Crozier thinks back on Private Heather, the marine who had the top of his skull removed and still lived.

"There's nothing consistent," he begins quietly. "But...it has taken something from some of my men, and left a still-breathing husk. Their spirit, you could call it. Souls."

His expression is grave. "Perhaps it struggles to exist here because it cannot devour us as it wishes."

[kingsroads]

Strange can't help but shudder. The idea of losing one's soul sounds absolutely horrific.

"I wouldn't know how to measure a soul. But, as I walk and talk and feel, I think it safe to assume that I still have mine." Strange stares off into the distance, hand still on his neck as he asks,

"Do you think it will die? Or can it even die in the first place?"

[goingtobeunwell]

"I don't know," he murmurs, feeling a chill run down his spine. "I can't even answer if it's the same creature that hunted my men across the ice. Perhaps we caused this - myself, Jopson, Goodsir. Perhaps the beast dreams too."

Was it the same creature that he remains chained to even now?

He doesn't know what to do, but he can't rid himself from feeling the dread that settles into his stomach.

"It wanted us to see it, Strange."

[kingsroads]

Strange makes a noise of agreement. That...makes sense. That whole set-up didn't feel accidental. And, at least in Strange's mind, it didn't fit in with the rest of Crozier's dreams.

This is possibly a terrible idea. But Strange has a sinking feeling that all ideas are terrible. So fuck it, might as well offer up the terrible idea.

"I think we should do this again, tomorrow night and then the night after. If that thing shows up again, we can try and talk to it or learn more about it. And if it remains hidden, I can help you become more comfortable with your magic."

[goingtobeunwell]

Crozier dreads having to walk through those dreams again and again. The very idea makes his blood run cold, and yet Strange seems to be offering him just a little hope to quell the despair. Companionship through the dreams, assistance.

"Some of the things I see I don't quite understand, and most seem to be deeply personal, if not harmful. If you are to help me, you must swear not to speak of these visions to anyone else aboard."

[kingsroads]

Strange nods. "If someone confronts me about what I know, I shall not lie. But I am not a gossip. I know...to be honest, if I had a choice, I'd rather not anybody see that part of me that you saw."

Strange shifts slightly. He's not exactly ashamed of his actions. After all, they led in an indirect way to freeing Arabella. But that doesn't change the fact that the Venetian portion of his life is something he doesn't view fondly.

"I can respect their privacy."

[goingtobeunwell]

"I would not ask you to lie," he agrees softly. He regards him for a moment and then nods. "Thank you. I don't yet know what these dreams are trying to tell me, and I would rather not cast judgement upon anyone for something not in their control."

Crozier climbs to feet. "Can you sleep tonight after what you saw?"

[kingsroads]

"You must not have spent too long in my memories if you think that is the worst that I've seen."

It's said with a very glib tone and a slightly reassuring smile but honestly, Strange isn't sure if he can sleep tonight. He can deal with horror. But some of those things were beyond what he was expecting.

"I shall be fine. I will go to sleep, get my rest, and then tomorrow we can go about our day pretending like this never happened—ah, but you do owe me a story of your grandmother at some point."

[goingtobeunwell]

He grabs his greatcoat from the hook and pulls it on along with his gloves and hat.

"Ah, yes. Memo Moira. I'd nearly forgotten I'd mentioned her." He smiles ruefully. "I'll tell you the story tomorrow night, Strange. For now, I'm going to have a pipe."

[kingsroads]

"Enjoy your pipe, Captain," Strange says, with a little nod. He turns to the door to start to leave. "I'll see you in the morning."

[goingtobeunwell]

"In a few hours, yes," Crozier adds, not without a little chuckle. "Try to sleep, Strange."